Several years back I
dreamt, fantasized, hoped and prayed to own a car and drive myself in Lagos,
Matter of fact I always said "until I have a car in Lagos, Lagos isn't
complete".....lol. However, Lagos was still very sane back then and
watching people drive or being driven around was such a cool thing. I remember
one of those days when daddy took us out and there was traffic somewhere around
Oba Akran Avenue, I smiled and wove to the kids in the car beside us and a few
years after I met one of them at my GCE exam center...lol.
Many years passed and
as I got closer to fulfilling this dream/fantasy/hope/prayer of mine, I
developed Vehophobia. I was run over by a bike while trying to cross and from
then I just got sick of it. Driving became so scary....I couldn't deal with the
madness in Lagos. I saw several bashing and fights on Lagos roads and they all
just reinforced my fear.
Finally the time came
for me to start driving and I chickened out. I tried the first time and I
almost peed on myself. I couldn't even feel the car going in the wrong
direction. I felt so ashamed of myself but I still couldn't bring myself to
drive the day after.
I took a long break
till Stacey came and like in the movies my seven star general showed up
with my very own car...hehehehe.....I was super excited but after all the car
papers were ready and the car had to start its job, the fear crept in all over
again. We got someone to drive and tutor me for a while but I didn't even learn
a thing for the first week. I just sat at the back and chilled like a madam.
(DO you blame me?)
Finally week 2 passed
and I started driving proper. I would slam the breaks at any slight
obstruction, and accelerate like the car would cry if it moves too fast. lol. I
was such a "fraidy cat". All law enforcement guys scared the life out
of me, I was such a chicken.
Days turned into weeks
and gradually the fear began to fade. Thumbs up to my teacher Sesan (he
probably would never see this) and my friend Micheal O who constantly gingered
me on the wheels. I remember while descending the bridge at Iyana Oworo and a
danfo driver broke my side mirror, Micheal just told me to stay in the car and
he went for the guy...lol...It was war for the guy that evening.
After a few months of
driving in Lagos, I have learnt a lot and would like to share with you.
#1. I focus on the big
picture (my destination) and act like I am the only sane person on the road.
#2. I stay on my lane
as much as I can except there is an obstruction ahead or I have to switch lanes
to get to my destination.
#3. I have learnt to
not trafficate when switching lanes because the second you do that people will
accelerate like they are on a mission to ensure your goal of switching lanes is
not accomplished.
#4. I honk the horn at
everything and anything especially when overtaking big trucks.
#5. No slow motion when
driving. You snooze you lose especially in rush hour traffic.
#6. Still on rush hour
traffic and no slow motion, I almost got robbed one evening along Osodi-Apapa
expressway but thank God and my "no slow motion" resolution, I got
away.
#7. Still on this
matter, I try to follow the car ahead very closely so there is no room for
another vehicle to push me out of the lane. That thing happens so fast,
especially when descending that bridge at Iyana Oworo, before I blink the buses
and trucks have yanked me off the lane and I find that I am trying to find my
bearing...lol
#8. I never drag lanes
with buses, trucks and tricycles "keke marwa". They will just stain
your car and be prostrating. One of them tricycle guys squeezed himself between
my car and a bus and pulled down my bumper, he started begging and prostrating.
I didn’t spare the guy o, I dragged him to the nearest panel beater who fixed
the bumper and guess what, when it was time to pay he brought out .......you
won't believe how much... N70 to pay the panel beater. I just busted into
laughter. Seriously! N70....I paid the panel beater though but I was glad I
wasted his time...I wasn't in a hurry so.....
#9. I don't exactly
like driving at nights but if I have to drive at nights, I turn on my full
lights and squint so the oncoming vehicles lights don't hit me badly but mine
would blind anyone that tries rubbish.lol
#10. I never let the
madness get to me, no matter how careful and nice you are while driving
somebody will still abuse you.
#11. Driving in Lagos
is not for the fainthearted. Enjoy your next ride.
😃😃😃
ReplyDeleteReally an interesting piece to read. I had a big smile of reality on my face reading through. I am however slightly not comfortable with #3. Where you have decided not to trafficate again.... you might just need to bend that rule! Abeg trafficate ooo... my trailer dey come ooo...
ReplyDeleteLovely piece, I enjoyed it. :D
Oh I certainly will bro...thank you.. :)
DeleteTrafficate and they will never let you into the lane....watch your rear, side; calculate the distance and off you go....Lol
DeleteSo very true babe. Driving in Lagos is .......... I particularly hate traffic and it's one of the reasons I don't go out. I'd rather stay home and watch TV than be ensconced in traffic. If I have to go out, I time it well so I avoid traffic. If traffic is unavoidable, I would take a cab. Thank God for uber!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLol @ all your lessons. #3,#4, #5, #7, #9 all contravene sane traffic rules. But lagos isn't sane anyways. If you must drive in the habroad, better be ready to go to a driving school. Nice piece!
ReplyDeleteLol @ all your lessons.#3,#4,#5,#7,#9 all contravene sane traffic rules. But lagos isn't sane anyways. If you must drive in the habroad, better be ready to go to a driving school. Nice piece!
ReplyDeleteNice one dear.....
ReplyDeleteThis is so very true. I remember my first experience driving outside of VI it was hell,got back home to take pain killers. Driving in Lagos takes patience....do the right things
ReplyDeleteThis is so very true. I remember my first experience driving outside of VI,it was hell. Drove back home to take pain killers. Driving in Lagos takes patience...do the right things
ReplyDelete